How to Get the Girl
I’m not saying that these points are the only ones that can influence finding the perfect woman, but as I work through them you will see that they contain the fundamentals for helping you find Miss Right for you.
Situation / Circumstances
Level of Interest / Mutual Commitment
Fun and Adventure
Before we begin it is critical to know two things!
What do you Want? And Who you Are?
What do you Want in the Perfect Woman?
It is important to know what type of girl you are looking for? This can be a hard question to answer if you have had limited experience with women. If you have had more experience it may become a little clearer, but regardless, it’s optimal to know what personal or physical traits that you are looking for in a partner. Some desirable traits that may be important to you are perhaps looks, intelligence, sense of humor, kindness, particular physical characteristics. Whatever it is it’s important to have some idea of what you want in the perfect woman and why? Some guys just want a hot girl and dont think at all about personality.
This sounds great in theory! However, if the girl is just hot you may find you get bored with her over time if you can not connect on some deeper level with her personality. Unless you are extremely shallow then…. good for you! =). Once again write down exactly, what the perfect girl or type of girl is right for you. For example, she must have big eyes and a lisp if this is want you want. Make a list so you that you know before you start dating, then when you’re dating and talking to woman you have some idea if this girl is right for you. You need to qualify her first and this helps you be less dependant on the outcome initially and makes you come across more attractive this doesn’t sound to important but its very powerful because it stops you getting caught up on girls who may not be right for you in the first place.
Are you an Attractive Man?
By the time you reach your 20’s – 30’s you should have developed a definition of self. You should know who you are on some level. Good or bad you should have some idea of your personal identity. The reason that this is important is because you can’t get your perfect 10 if you’re only a 6 in her eyes. This sounds sad but it is true! If you are lucky, you are already a 10 with looks, personality, part time comedian, some swag, wealth, great career the whole works but if your none of the above it’s time to get to work on you first.
Confidence is key in Getting the Girl!
I might just add here the most important thing about knowing yourself is being 100% confident and comfortable with who you are that is worth more than any self improvement you can learn or master. It doesn’t hurt to grow as a person and maybe weed out some characteristics in your persona that may be holding you back from getting the girl of your dreams. Your perfect girl in your mind could be the most attractive girl you know. But guess what! You may not be her type of guy. If she dates bad boys and you are a good boy forget about it, you are wasting your time. If she likes guys with a sense of humour that is a trait that is a little easier for you to develop. If she likes guys that are driven, it might be time for you to put more focus on your careers and your passions. Let me make this point clear, and I have been guilty of falling into this same trap There are Plenty of Fish in Sea and you should never get hung up on one girl.
Do you really want to be a bad boy ?
Bad boy type 1- someone who is strong and direct and has no problem standing there ground. opinionated and usually selfish.
Bad boy type 2- pretty much a criminal or a soon to be criminal a real piece of crap.
Why? Attraction works in mysterious ways and common sense has seldom to do with it in these instances. most of the time its attractive girls that are attracted to these types of guys and most of the time its based on the fact that they have always gotten what they want and these type of guys aren’t easy and it causes attraction based purely on the fact we want what we cant have.
Who is the Perfect Woman ? And who are you ?
Unfortunately we just can’t have every women we’ve ever wanted. So once you work out what you want your going to need to stick to it for at least 12 months so these new traits and habits can be part of you. I don’t think it’s a great idea to change yourself for someone else but what i do believe is there’s no point stopping yourself from being the best version of yourself, personal growth is good and a bit of self reflection and personal development never hurt anyone. I put it down to this if you if you alway do what you’ve always done then you’ll always get what you’ve always got. Ok so we know what type of girl we want that’s a start, we also now what type of guy she wants to date, this is important because luck or fate does not help she is either attracted to you or not there is no inbetween and if you want to date that type of woman you better make sure your her type of guy.
Situation Timing / circumstances
Ok so she’s perfect and your perfect it should just work ? right ??. Unfortunately this is not always the case. On the way to becoming the man you need to be to attract your 10 you will meet plenty of girls that are right for you but the stars may not align every time. Unfortunately you may not be ready for her when you find her but this isn’t a bad thing sometimes you need to date a few girls to start feeling like you deserve the girl you want. Sometimes she’s perfect and your perfect at the same time but she may be dealing with personal issues (Ex boyfriend, family, work) and is not ready to date. You may be dealing with issues to so don’t beat yourself up if you dont cant make it work every time you meet an amazing woman. Geography can also come into it she may live on the other side of town, she may live in a different town altogether, she may live in a different state. There may be a major focus on career, or on living arrangements. Not to worry Situational circumstances happen the only thing you can do is don’t take them personal, never make yourself feel bad about things that are out of your control you are awesome but sometime you just don’t get the girl.
Level of Commitment
Sometimes you meet the perfect woman but she just doesn’t want a relationship, or a serious relationship i know this can be seam as a lack of interest on her part but sometimes people are just not ready for the type of commitment that is needed to make a relationship work. In situations where either party can only do casual it is important to know what you want, If you are happy to be in a casual relationship that’s fine but if you want more then she may not be the girl you’re actually looking for.
Fun and Adventure
What is attraction ? hmmmm good question =), all i can say is there are many things that cause people to feel attracted to other people. but without a doubt one of the most attractive traits you can have or develop is a sense of fun and adventure. Forget about bad boy traits they usually only lead to damaged girls anyway but if your a guy that’s always fun to be around and continually doing and seeing new things isn’t that a world you wouldn’t love to enter?
The other thing about being a fun and adventurous guy is it helps develop confidence, the number one thing that destroys confidence is being in your head to much and not in the moment enough. So when you’re dating your perfect 10 take her on some adventurous dates and have some fun weather you end up with her or not remember to enjoy the journey =)
Mike & Von =)